It's Been Done Before

This week we’re taking another trip back to the Old West with The Coen Brothers’ 2010 remake of True Grit. This story follows 14 year old Mattie Ross as she sets out to see her father’s killer brought to justice. With the aid of Deputy U.S. Marshal Reuben J. "Rooster" Cogburn and Texas Ranger LaBoeuf, Mattie tracks the killer and his gang across the Indian Territory of Arkansas and to their mountain hideout. In the end, Mattie gets her revenge but is bitten by a venomous snake and has to be quickly carried back to civilization by Rooster Cogburn. This is a wonderful film that was released to much critical acclaim. The back and forth between Cogburn and LaBoeuf sets the tone for their relationship throughout the film. Who played a better Rooster Cogburn, Jeff Bridges or John Wayne? How spectacular is Hailee Steinfeld in this film? Can you believe this was her first major film role, at age 13? What are the chances the Coens will make a remake of Rooster Cogburn? This movie is great and if you haven’t watched the 1969 original make sure you check that out as well.

This week we’re taking a trip to Norway to let everyone know about the amazingly fun Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead. Of all the zombie Nazi movies that are available to watch, this one is by far the best. Think Shaun of the Dead if Sam Raimi were the director. The movie takes place immediately after the end of the previous film and follows our hero Martin as he attempts to outrun the law and defeat the evil Col. Herzog with the help of The Zombie Squad from America. Martin and The Zombie Squad eventually get help from a battalion of Russian zombies and are able to stop the Nazi zombies, or so they think. This movie was so much fun to watch and talk about. Why didn’t this movie get a wider American release? How many other movies are willing to kill children with such a sense of lightheartedness? Glenn was a totally unwilling participant in all of this and he was used as bait and then knifed in the throat. We say the word intestines more in this episode than I think we ever will again. Such a good time this week. We miss you Claire, you’re a real American hero.

This week we take our first stab at a comic book movie with the action packed Blade II. This was the first successful R-rated superhero movie series and it has somewhat been forgotten in all the recent MCU/DCCU hoopla. Wesley Snipes is the perfect actor for this role and made us believe that he might actually hunt vampires in his freetime. What’s with all the vampire rave culture in these movies? Did Kris Kristofferson channel the spirit of Nick Nolte as inspiration for Whistler’s personality? Was there really a need for a racist moment between Blade and Reinhardt? Why would vampires be racist? Wouldn’t they just look all non-vampires as things to eat? I don’t care what ethnicity my buffalo wings are, as long as they are delicious! Why is Blade so deeply in love with Nyssa? Shouldn’t he want to kill her like he does every other vampire? Blade was pretty cool with letting Whistler burn in the sun if the antidote didn’t work and he spent two years searching for Whistler. It’s a shame the third movie was so bad. It would be fun to see more Blade movies and I’m sure Wesley could use the money. We’re sure we got some of the source material facts wrong in this one but give us a break, we’re movie geeks not comic book geeks. Have fun with this one. Enjoy your week!

NEW Episodes every Tuesday at 9:00amTheater II: D2 - The Mighty DucksChristmas week is finally upon us and we are talking about a modern holiday classic, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  This movie is a Christmas tradition in my house and I hope it is in yours too.  Clark Griswold and his whole family are back to spend the holidays together and drive each other crazy.  Clark is waiting to receive his holiday bonus so he can let his family know that he plans on installing a fabulous backyard swimming pool.  The whole extended Griswold family shows up to complain about anything and everything and to push Clark to the brink of his sanity.  The best character in this movie is the beloved Cousin Eddie, portrayed by Sir Randall Quaid.  What, you didn’t know he was a Knight?  Yeah, it turns out The Queen is a big fan of Kingpin.  This movie holds a special place in Matt and Mike’s hearts.  Enjoy the episode and have a wonderful Christmas.  HO HO HO!

Christmas movie month is coming to an end this week with a remake of Charles Dickens’ Christmas classic, Scrooged. This modern day update to A Christmas Carol stars Bill Murray as Frank Cross, a big shot TV executive that does not have any holiday cheer in his life. Frank takes his anger and frustrations out on everyone around him and treats most people like dirt until one faithful night when he has a reunion with his old boss’s reanimated zombie, Lew. Lew tells Frank that there is still time to change his ways for the better and that he will be visited by three ghosts. Frank is taken on a journey through the many different Christmases in his life by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. This version of the tale has a much more comedy in it than the original but also takes a few dark turns. Why is Claire’s business card so damn large? What happens to Frank in the real world while he is traveling with the ghosts? Where there any members of the Murray family that were not cast in this movie? How could Eliot be able to return to work after his shooting rampage? Shouldn’t he be looking at some jail time? We hope Santa brought you all the gifts you wanted and that you have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve. Enjoy!

Christmas week is finally upon us and we are talking about a modern holiday classic, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. This movie is a Christmas tradition in my house and I hope it is in yours too. Clark Griswold and his whole family are back to spend the holidays together and drive each other crazy. Clark is waiting to receive his holiday bonus so he can let his family know that he plans on installing a fabulous backyard swimming pool. The whole extended Griswold family shows up to complain about anything and everything and to push Clark to the brink of his sanity. The best character in this movie is the beloved Cousin Eddie, portrayed by Sir Randall Quaid. What, you didn’t know he was a Knight? Yeah, it turns out The Queen is a big fan of Kingpin. This movie holds a special place in Matt and Mike’s hearts. Enjoy the episode and have a wonderful Christmas. HO HO HO!

Christmas movie month continues with this week’s episode, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. The holiday hijinx continue for Kevin McCallister as he is once again separated from his family during Christmas time. He runs into his old pals The Wet (no, make that) The Sticky Bandits, Harry and Marv, who have escaped from jail and are on the run. Kevin uses a wide variety of tricks and traps to find himself a hotel room, stay one step ahead of the inept hotel staff, save Mr. Duncan’s toy store and send Harry and Marv back to the big house. He even makes a lifelong friend who has some weird symbiotic relationship with a flock of pigeons. Are Kevin’s parents the most negligent people in Christmas movie history? What’s the deal with Tim Curry’s character? Why does he treat Kevin like a con man from the moment he sees him? Seriously, how bad must the Pigeon Lady smell? Where do I get a copy of Even Filthier Angels so we can review it for the show? Is there anything funnier than seeing Marv get electrocuted? Daniel Stern kills it in this movie! Have a good time listening to this one and keep the holiday cheer going.

We’re kicking off Christmas movie month with a bang, a boom and a pow! Mike and Matt are talking about the first of many sequels to the greatest action movie ever made, Die Hard 2: Die Harder. It’s Christmas Eve and John McClane has brought his brand of wisecracking and buttkicking action to Washington D.C.’s Dulles Airport. He’s there to pick up his wife Holly after her flight arrives, but first he must help thwart the mercenary group that has hacked into the air traffic control system and brought the airport to its knees. It’s a race against time to stop the evil Colonel Stuart’s plan before Holly’s plane runs out of fuel and falls from the sky. We had a bunch of fun with this one. It was like stepping back in time to see the way airport security handled things prior to 9/11. Everyone could smoke indoors and people just wandered into restricted areas without anyone questioning what they were doing. Does Col. Stuart always start his day by doing some nude Tai Chi while watching the news? Why aren’t there more guards making sure General Esperanza is securely locked down in his cargo plane? How did Richard Thornburg get this far into his flight without noticing Holly McClane sitting a few feet away from him? Try playing the Where’s Waldo? game with John Leguizamo and let us know where you find him. This was a great movie to get our holiday juices going. Enjoy!

This week we are totally obsessed with dancing and rebelling against authority. We are talking about the 2011 remake of Footloose with special guest, Sue Batch. This touching tale of institutionalized religious oppression and authoritarianism in a small Texas town seemed a little old fashioned in 1984, but in 2011 it seems like an episode of The Twilight Zone. Did the adults and lawmakers really think music and dancing was responsible for the horrible car wreck or were they just making up for their own lack of guidance and oversight? Why do most of the adults dislike Ren from the moment they meet him? How don’t Ariel’s parents know that she has been acting wild and crazy since her brother’s death? What’s with Ren’s car? School bus demolition derby racing? Why do the authorities make a bigger deal about Ren having a joint than anyone does about Ariel getting hit by her ex boyfriend and her father or a teenage boy getting punched by a grown man? Lots of illegal dancing and 80’s nostalgia in this one, get loose!

This episode is all about family. A creepy, kooky, mysterious and spooky family. We’re celebrating our first Thanksgiving episode in style with Addams Family Values. This movie is wonderful. It is filled with incredible actors, a good director and has lots of crazy moments and funny one liners. It feels like a really good extended episode from the TV series. The family welcomes a new baby, Fester and Wednesday both find love and the Native Americans exact revenge on the Pilgrims. Is this the most attractive Joan Cusack has ever been on film? How great is the chemistry between Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston? What’s the deal with Camp Chippewa? Have the necessary authorities been notified about Gary and Becky? What did Fester and Deb have on their wedding registry? Why didn’t Debbie realize that Fester couldn’t be killed by conventional means? When do we get the sequel about Fester and Dementia’s life together? How many versions of “Whoop There It Is” did Tag Team make? This one was a nice treat that all three of us enjoyed, we hope you do too.

This week Claire and Matt are going on an adventure to a small unnamed stereotypical Arabian/African country in the romantic action-filled comedy, The Jewel of the Nile. This sequel to Romancing the Stone can best be described as a mashup of a 1980s romantic comedy and a forgotten Indiana Jones storyline. The on-screen chemistry between Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner helps to make this a very watchable film, even if the story can be a little thin. How could anyone get tired of traveling the world on a private yacht? Why didn’t Joan ask her agent to get some information about Omar before agreeing to abscond with him? Did Jack have insurance on that boat? Why did the guards think shooting up the graffiti on the wall would do anything to prevent people from reading it? Why didn’t Jack or Ralph ever ask what the Jewel looked like? Why didn’t Joan have a million questions when the Jewel turned a stone into a butterfly? Wouldn’t a few bullets to the head do the job just as well as this elaborate death contraption? Is Omar auditioning to be a cult leader? This movie was extra cheesy but it was a good time and a fun one to talk about.

The idea of watching this movie again frightens me more than anything I saw during scary movie month. This week we’re talking about one of the worst movie sequels of all time, Grease 2. We lost Mike to illness this episode but we have a special guest joining us, our good friend, Roxy De Luca. This is the first musical we’ve done on It’s Been Done Before and boy was it terrible! We get horrible stand-ins for all of our favorite characters and songs from the original classic. I guess this is what we should expect from the writer of Airplane 2: The Sequel and the director of Cyndi Lauper: 12 Deadly Cyns...and Then Some. Why are the T-Birds so concerned about doing well in class and winning the talent show? Is Michael the most beautiful nerd in movie history? Will Frenchy go on to found the Maybelline Corporation? Are there any responsible adults or authority figures in this town? How are these “high school seniors” allowed to smoke, drink and drive motorcycles wherever they would like? How many other movies give the soundtrack top billing in the end credits? Well, at least Michelle Pfeiffer looked gorgeous. This one is a good episode because the movie was sooooo bad.

Our scary movie month is coming to an end and we are closing things out with the prequel to John Carpenter’s sci-fi horror classic, 2011’s The Thing. This movie does an excellent job of paying homage to the original. The director and set designer took great care to reverse engineer everything about the Norwegian camp down to the smallest detail. The story begins three days before the events of the 1982 film and explains how the alien was set free on the world. A nice change of pace with Mike’s beloved M.E.W. (Mary Elizabeth Winstead to us normal folks) being the heroic badass female character that runs the show and keeps her wits during a crisis. Why didn’t anyone else object to the doctor cutting into the alien? Is the alien able to copy it’s victim’s clothing if it is non-organic? How did that blood in the shower get cleaned up so spotlessly in such a short amount of time? This movie teaches use that our imperfections are what make us human because anyone without fillings in their teeth or piercings in their skin was subject to death by flamethrower. It was a fun ride to see how the story would sync up with the original and they did a pretty good job getting there. Listen to us tell you what we think and then let us know what you think. Enjoy!

Could we have a scary movie month without a Wes Craven movie? We didn’t think so either. This week’s episode is all about the college campus slasher Scream 2. How old are all these college students? Why are all of these “adults” (i.e. Dewey, Gale and Cotton) allowed to roam the campus so freely? No one really ever rushes to tell the police about the victims or spends any great deal of time mourning their murdered friends. Dewey should be dead! From the cast to the music and wardrobe this one was a trip all the way back to 1997. Spoiler Alert, if you saw the first one you won’t be too shocked by the twist. Happy Halloween everyone!

Scary movie month is in full swing as we discuss Eli Roth’s gorefest, Hostel Part 2, with our special guest Claire Swanson. This movie is very similar to the original, it has lots of blood and guts with a few new twists and several new characters. How did Beth and Whitney become friends with Lorna? Who chooses to stay at a crummy hostel instead of The Four Seasons? Why does “the smart girl” get on a small boat with a strange man in a foreign country? Why aren’t Beth and Whitney more concerned when “their friend” Lorna disappears? Why would you make your customers at a super-secret torture and killing club get very recognizable tattoos? We want a lawyer to review the contract that Todd/Alpha and Stuart/Beta have to sign before they get to start killing because it cannot be legally binding. It seems that there is a sliding scale at the auction based on how injured the victim is. Beth uses everything at her disposal to get out of the situation and really gets revenge on Stuart and Axelle. We also have some good news and some bad news to get out of the way. Our beloved co-host Brittny will be leaving us after this episode so she can prepare for the birth of her upcoming child and Claire will be joining our team of oddballs until she gets tired of talking to Mike and Matt. We also have a short interview with Claire near the end of the episode to introduce her to our audience. Congratulations to Brit and her husband Tony on their little bundle of joy! Lots of stuff in this episode. Enjoy!