It's Been Done Before

This week we are beginning our Mother’s Day celebration by taking our moms to the French Riviera to talk about 1988’s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.  This film tells the tale of two very different con men who make their living swindling women out of their money.  Lawrence is an aristocratic gentleman who believes in indulging in the finer things in life and believes in only taking from those who can afford it.  Freddy is a little rough around the edges and sees nothing wrong with taking from anyone to help him get what he wants.  The two con men eventually agree on a bet that would run the loser out of town and give the winner full claim to the town of Beaumont-sur-Mer.  They think they have found the perfect mark for their bet, but they underestimate what they have gotten themselves into.  This movie was lots of fun and holds up very well.  There are a few moments that might not hold up to today’s politically correct standards but none the less it was very enjoyable.  If you’ve never seen the film, it is definitely worth your time.  Have a great week and treat your mom to a happy Mother’s Day!

This week’s episode takes us to 2018’s post-apocalyptic Los Angeles as we try to figure out how to help good old John Connor fight the machines in Terminator Salvation.  This new spin on the Terminator franchise takes place after Judgement Day has already happened and gives us a window into the life of John Connor and Kyle Reese before the events of the first movie took place.  Due to the crazy time travel aspect of this franchise I guess the events of the first movie have both already taken place and not yet taken place.  We get a new half-man half-robot character in this one and Arnold even makes a CGI appearance near the end, #noarnolddong.  Why hasn’t John Connor been planning a way for Reese to go back in time and prevent Judgement Day?  Why don’t more people know who Kyle Reese is?  Why is John Connor a supposed prophet?  Wouldn’t the ending have been better if John Connor actually died?  What do you think of the Rogue One comparison for this movie?  Unfortunately Paramount pulled the plug on this franchise, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have more episodes to come on the other sequels in this series.  We’ll be back!

This week we’ve got a craving for fast food.  Why not stop in at our local Mooby’s and hang out with our friends, Dante and Randal, in Clerks 2? The story begins with Dante arriving at the Quick Stop to open the store for business only to find the building engulfed in flames.  With the Quick Stop and the video store gone, Dante and Randal get jobs working for the fast food chain store, Mooby’s.  Dante is now engaged to Emma and they will soon be moving to Florida to begin their new life together and Dante will be leaving Randal and his friend Becky behind.  While sharing a tender moment with Becky, Dante learns a secret that changes all of his big plans.  Will Dante leave for Florida or stay in New Jersey?  This movie would never be released in today’s ultra politically correct social climate.  Why didn’t anyone start pointing out the problems with Dante marrying Emma and moving to Florida before the day he was planning on leaving?  Why wouldn’t Dante choose Becky over Emma?  They have so much more in common.  A donkey show?  Really?  Maybe one day we’ll get a Clerks 3 with Dante and Randal’s children working at Starbucks.

This week’s movie is a story filled with music, love, brotherhood and of course revenge.  We are taking a trip down to Mexico with the 1995 classic, Desperado.  This sequel to El Mariachi continues our hero’s journey for justice and vengeance as he hunts down Bucho, the leader of a massive criminal organization that has ties to the murder of his true love.  After being injured during a shootout, the Mariachi is taken to a local bookstore and his wounds are mended by the owner Carolina.  The two of them quickly fall in love and Carolina decides to help the Mariachi achieve his goal of finding Bucho.  Lots of stereotypes and cartoonish blood and guts in this one. How didn’t El Mariachi recognize Bucho as being his brother earlier in his hunt for him?  If Bucho has paid off the whole town, why would anyone help El Mariachi?  How did that kid survive getting shot?  Does anyone have access to the director’s cut of this film?  We will pay to get ahold of it.  This is a really fun movie, too bad they had to make a third one.

This week we’re just hanging out with the family.  You know, our mom, our dad and two other guys in their 40’s that live with us for some reason just like they did in 1990’s Three Men and a Little Lady.  Three men, a grown woman and her daughter are all living together and even though one of the guys and the woman love each other, she is going to marry some British asshole. This story is weird, the situation makes no sense and none of these people should be friends with each other.   Why are so many Hollywood plot lines built around a total lack of communication between characters?  Why in god’s name do these guys all still live together at this point in their lives?  Who will be paying for Mary’s therapy costs for the rest of her life?  Remember the heroin subplot in the first film?  We could have used some drug related hijinx in the sequel as well.  Eventually we will probably get a Three Men and a Bride and the world will be complete.

This week, the whole team is back!  We’ve even brought a guest with us on our trip to the post apocalyptic wasteland of Mega-City One with the 2012 reboot, Dredd.  This movie follows Judge Dredd and his new partner, Anderson, as they try to survive an all out assault from Ma-Ma’s merciless gang of lunatics.  Ma-Ma is a drug kingpin that has total control of the Mega-City One market for SLO-MO, a drug that makes time appear to pass at 1% the normal speed.  She is willing to kill anyone that threatens that monopoly, including Dredd and Anderson.  If there hadn’t been a judge at Peachtree in years, why didn’t Dredd know that?  We feel bad for the 4% of people that live in that building and are employed.  Why didn’t they send more than two judges to answer Dredd’s distress call?  What is the full extent of Anderson’s abilities?  This movie is sooooo much better than the Stallone version.  Too bad we probably won’t get a sequel.

This week, there’s something strange in our neighborhood.  There’s something weird, and it don't look good.  So, we decided to watch the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters.  Just to cover our butts, we watched the extended cut and got to see an extra fifteen minutes or so that the theaters were too afraid to let the general public see.  The story is basically an updated version of the original movie with a few quirks and a bunch of references to the original films.  Why did the ghosts all have to look like they were extras in the Casper movies?  The movie is over two hours long, why didn’t they give Rowand a more flushed out backstory?  Why wasn’t there more time spent busting ghosts?  How were they still looked at as frauds after they busted the ghost at the theater?  Social media would have melted down with all of the posts from the concert goers.  The cast is great and the movie was much more fun than it was given credit for when it was released.  Claire and Matt both felt that Kate McKinnon was the best part of the movie but everyone plays their roles very well.  If you haven’t seen the movie, it is definitely worth the watch.  We’re hoping for another sequel because...WE AIN’T ‘FRAID OF NO GHOSTS!

This week we’re taking a trip down to The Big Easy with Werner Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.  Depending on who you ask this movie is either a horrible remake or not inspired by the original movie at all.  The story follows Lt. Terence McDonagh, a crooked cop with a drug problem, as he attempts to solve the murder of a family of five and hold his life together at the same time.  He has only one witness to help him link the killers to the crime scene, a teenage boy named Daryl.  He brings Daryl along to visit his girlfriend, a beautiful hooker named Frankie, but Daryl is scared off by a combination of the weight of the situation and Terence’s lifestyle.  Eventually, Terence’s missteps begin to catch up to him and he must go to several extremes to try to make things right.  Is there anyone better at portraying a madman on film than Nic Cage?  What’s with all the weird shots of reptiles?  Why is no one in the movie speaking with a Louisiana accent?  Why didn’t any of the other police question Terence for using a .44 magnum or for brazenly tucking it into his waist?  Didn’t the ending seem happy to the point of being dreamlike? This movie is the perfect combination of a maniac actor and a maniac director coming together to make something special.

This week we’re getting a little silly, nutty if you will, with the 1996 remake of The Nutty Professor.  This is a heartwarming story we can all relate to.  A man falls in love with a woman, that seems to have feelings for him, and then completely reconstructs his DNA to try to win her heart.  Sherman Klump is a brilliant scientist and a college professor with a little bit of a weight problem.  Once Sherman meets the lovely young Carla Purty he is instantly smitten with her and will do anything to win her heart, including taking an experimental potion that may help him lose weight.  The potion transforms Sherman into Buddy Love, a wild man with too much testosterone flowing through his veins, who is also vying for Carla’s affection.  Eventually Sherman realizes that Buddy is not the man he wants to be and he fights to stay the man that he is.  Spoiler, it is a happy ending and he and Carla are together at last, until the next movie when Janet Jackson shows up.  

The time for love and happiness is over and now we are switching our feelings to anger and revenge with 2004’s Man on Fire.  Denzel Washington stars as John Creasy, a retired CIA assassin, who has taken a job as the bodyguard for Samuel Ramos’ young daughter Pita.  At first, Creasy doesn’t want to open up to Pita about his personal life or his past and rejects her attempts to become “friends”.  Eventually, they begin to bond over Pita’s swim training as Creasy assists her in overcoming her fear of the starting gunshot and to become a championship swimmer.  Once they have formed a close relationship, Pita is kidnapped in broad daylight while Creasy is gunned down as he tries to fend off the attackers.  This was the worst mistake they could have made.  Creasy recovers enough to hunt down those responsible for what happened and make them tell him everything they know before he kills them on his way up the ladder to “The Voice”.  This movie is a badass ride from beginning to end.  It has lots of stuff Mike and Matt like and a bunch of stuff Claire hates.  Denzel is awesome, so is Dakota Fanning and the rest of the cast does a pretty good job as well.  If you haven’t seen this movie go watch it now.

The month of love is coming to an end, but not before we get a chance to look at life through the eyes of a married couple in Judd Apatow’s This is 40.  This movie is an honest, and sometimes brutally honest, view on what life can be like when you’re entering middle age.  The movie follows Debbie and Pete though all the ups and downs during the week of their 40th birthdays.  We are treated to life with their two daughters Sadie and Charlotte along with hijinx from both of their fathers and a group of their friends and employees.  There are a few really tense moments but, spoiler alert, it all turns out for the best in the end.  How close does this movie mimic Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann’s real home life?  This is probably the most family movie of all time because the whole Apatow family is involved in the production.  Smart thinking, you get to keep a larger percentage if everyone you employ is a member of your family.  There are lots of really good moments in this film and the cast is superb.  Like many Apatow movies it could have benefited from another 25 minutes of editing.  We hope you had a great month and that you felt the love in the air, or the love in the air felt you.  

Romantic Movie Month keeps on going and that isn’t love that you smell in the air, it is lots and lots of sex. This week, we watched the 2014 remake of About Last Night starring Kevin Hart and Regina Hall. This movie was a little like an entertainment roller coaster; it started off with some highs, had some lows in the middle and then ended on a high point. Kevin Hart and Regina Hall are amazing in this film and steal every scene they are in. Is there any real problem or conflict in this movie? The story is decent and tells a realistic version of dating life but there isn’t much to it. What is with the living arrangements? The two characters with the higher paying jobs have to live together while the other characters have beautiful places of their own. Seems like good communication and a touch of honesty could have gone a long way. If Hart and Hall were not as strong as they are it could have been a real snoozefest. This is a good date movie and has enough laughs to keep everyone entertained. Have a fun week and take a lesson from this movie by having sex with each other.

This week, Romantic Movie Month continues and love is in the air with the 1991 remake of Father of the Bride. George’s little girl, Annie, is getting married and he just can’t come to grips with letting her go. He is overprotective, overbearing and overly concerned with the cost of every part of the wedding. George spends the first half of this movie being unreasonable, and somewhat unlikable, but finally sees the error in his ways and begins to consider his daughter’s feelings before the magical ending. Why are they making sneakers in LA? From the way his house looks, George shouldn’t be as hard up for money as he acts. What nationality is Franck? Snow in LA? Ok, whatever! This is a really cute movie that can be shared with and enjoyed by the entire family. Happy Valentines Day, we love you all very much!

This week we are beginning Romantic Movie Month by taking a magical journey to the land of Far Far Away with Shrek 2. This movie is a cute childish story filled with comedy, love, friendship, adventure and heroics. We start off with our newlyweds, Shrek and Fiona, enjoying their honeymoon and then returning to their home in the swamp. They are greeted by Donkey, Shrek’s loyal but annoying sidekick, and invited by Fiona’s parents to a wedding celebration at the palace. Once they get to the the castle things do not go very smoothly as Shrek and The King bicker back and forth about Shrek’s worthiness to be Fiona’s husband. We soon find out that the reason for The King’s displeasure is that he had an arrangement with The Fairy Godmother to make sure her son, Prince Charming, would marry Fiona as repayment for an old debt. The King decides to hire an assassin, Puss in Boots, to “take care of Shrek,” but the plan fails and Puss befriends Shrek and Donkey and joins them on their adventure. Shrek uses a magic potion to turn himself and Donkey into a handsome young man and a magnificent white stallion in an attempt to give Fiona the man Shrek thinks she wants. Once Shrek finds out The Fairy Godmother’s real plan he gathers his group of fairytale buddies to help him get back his true love. Why was Shrek so quick to believe Fiona would be better off without him? How didn’t Fiona recognize Prince Charming? I have to assume he grew up in the same kingdom as she did. Wouldn’t it have made life easier if Donkey had asked Dragon to come help them with their quest? Since this movie made a bajillion dollars I’m guessing you have probably seen it before. If not, take ninety minutes out of your life to make the kid in you happy.

This week we’re joining Starfleet Academy and boldly going where no other podcast has gone before with the 2009 reboot of Star Trek. This movie takes us through the early years of the crew of The Enterprise and shows us how James T. Kirk became a captain. JJ Abrams gets a bunch of guff for his use of lens flares in this movie, but it is still a really good sci-fi action flick with all the cheesy fun of the original series. We get to see Kirk’s journey from a young car stealing hoodlum, to the underachieving town drunk at a bar in Iowa and finally into the stowaway who becomes Captain of a starship. Eventually they get the whole gang together, including Old Spock, and kill some green-blooded aliens and save the day, the world and the universe. Why wasn’t Kirk in jail by the time he was old enough to enroll in Starfleet? He obviously spent his whole life committing crimes between stealing that car and becoming the angry Barney Gumble of Iowa. Spock seems like a cold hearted dick and a snitch. Why does Uhura love him? How was Spock going to explain the death sentence he handed Kirk by banishing him to an arctic planet? This movie was fun, check it out if you haven’t seen it yet.