It's Been Done Before

The holiday movie festivities continue this week with the 2006 remake of the cult slasher classic, Black Christmas. The story follows Billy, a deranged killer that is locked in a sanitarium for murdering his family, and The Delta Alpha Kappa house full of sorority girls. The girls house used to be Billy’s childhood home and he wants to come back for a visit. The girls get picked off one by one until there is a dramatic showdown with the final girl Kelli. The movie is silly and has all the cliches of a 1970s or 80s slasher flick. What is the backstory on Billy’s parents’ relationship? How many times has Billy escaped prison on Christmas? How big is the sorority house? What do people cookies taste like? Why did they get a male actor to play Agnes? What’s with all the eye trauma? Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

The holiday season is upon us and we’re talking about the Christmas stoner comedy, A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.  This is the third H&K adventure and it is also the worst of the bunch.  Harold and Kumar haven’t seen each other in several years but they are brought back together by a fateful package delivery and spend the rest of the movie looking for a replacement Christmas tree.  Why did they use so much 3D-in-your-face nonsense?  How does Kumar afford an apartment and so much weed without a job?  Why was Todd’s baby daughter so knowledgable about using drugs?  NPH was a real Weinstein in this installment of the franchise.  Why were Adrian and Todd in this movie?  There is some funny stuff that happens but most of the story is a big waste of time.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

Have you ever thought about selling your soul to the devil? Well, neither did Elliot Richards but the devil came to him with an offer to trade seven wishes for his one measly soul and he accepted. This week we’re talking about the 2000 remake of Bedazzled starring the underappreciated Brendan Fraser and the extremely beautiful Elizabeth Hurley. It is the classic tale of man being approached by Satan and tricked into signing over his soul to the devil, the difference here is that Satan is sexy and really has a soft spot for the guy she is trying to trick into eternal damnation. The wishes all revolve around Elliot trying to make a woman he is stalking fall in love with him but they all have an unexpected twist that makes them less than ideal. In the end, Elliot realizes that wishing for things will not bring him happiness, he learns a few life lessons and finds romance with his new neighbor. Why did it take so much convincing for Elliot to believe she was the devil? Why didn’t he learn from his first mistake and get more specific and detailed with his wishes? Why didn’t anyone warn Allison about Elliot stalking her for the last several years? What is Satan’s annual clothing budget? Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

This week episode will look at one of the great American movie franchises.  Check that, we will be looking at a franchise with American in the title; as we talk about 2003’s American Wedding.  The third visit to the American Pie universe brings us to Jim and Michelle’s wedding and most of the beloved characters have returned to wish them well.  Jim is still a perv, Finch is still pompous, Kevin is still useless and Stifler is still the worst person ever.  Some of them have a good time, some of them have a bad time and some of them learn a valuable lesson.  In the end, Finch bangs Stifler’s mom again while Harold and not Kumar watch.  This movie is pretty bad and not really worth anyone’s time.  Why was it so easy for Stifler to get the school bus?  Why don’t any of them know Michelle’s parents or sister?  What reality do these people exist in?  So is Cadence into smart guys or dumb jocks?  Why can’t anyone just have a conversation about their feelings with anyone else that isn’t Jim’s dad?  Did Stifler go to completion with Jim’s grandmother?  Did Stifler drive back to his hometown to get the whole football team at 3am?  If you’re feeling the need to check in with these characters, please watch the original and forget the sequels were made.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

Sometimes you just need a relaxing trip to get away from the worries of everyday life. We’re taking a nice long train ride to help clear our heads and, lucky for us, Steven Seagal is coming along to kick some terrorist butt in 1995’s Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. This movie follows Casey Ryback as he travels across this great country with his niece Sarah. His family vacation is interrupted when a group of mercenaries hijacks the train he is on and use it as a moving base of operations to control a weapon of mass destruction attached to a secret satellite. Casey spends his time sneaking around the train and eliminating the enemy scum all while spitting out silly qwips as only Mr. Seagal can. Spoiler alert, Casey kills everyone that comes in his path and saves the day. This movie is the perfect example of a fun-bad film. Is anyone better at making a bad movie than Steven Seagal? I mean he has been doing this for 77 years! How was the budget for this movie $60 million? Why do they need to shoehorn the phase “dark territory” into the film so much? Is there any way we can get a Nicolas Cage and Steven Seagal buddy cop comedy greenlit? Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

This week we’re taking a trip out to the suburbs to hang with our extended family as we talk about the very silly Next Friday.  Craig and his dad Willie are back in this sequel to Ice Cube’s hood comedy classic and Craig is moving out to Rancho Cucamonga. He moves out to the suburbs and in with his Uncle Elroy and cousin Day-Day to hide from Deebo’s planned revenge. Unfortunately, Craig still can’t keep himself out of trouble as he helps Day-Day with his crazy ex-girlfriend D’wana and tries to outwit the three Jokers next door.  He must find a way to help save his uncle’s house from the auction block and save his butt from Deebo and his brother Tyrone before the day ends or else all will be lost.  Why did they decide to take this franchise from realistic fiction to Scooby-Doo level wacky?  Smokey in rehab for weed?  To quote Bob Saget,  “Marijuana isn’t a drug!  Cocaine is a drug!”  Why did Deebo need a sidekick?  How many of Mike Epps’ lines were just him improvising?  If they make a fourth Friday, they must bring Chris Tucker back!  This isn’t a bad movie, it just doesn’t live up to the first film.  It is always on cable, so check it out when you have absolutely nothing better to do.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

Scary Movie Month is coming to a close.  One might even say it is the closing chapter of our holiday themed month, which would be quite a coincidence because we’re talking about Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.  In this fourth installment of the Friday the 13th franchise, a group of campers go to Crystal Lake for a relaxing vacation filled with fun and sex but Jason has a different set of activities planned for them.  This is the movie that introduces Tommy Jarvis and his family to the party and kills one of them very unceremoniously.  Everything in this movie is turned up to eleven because in 1984 they truly thought this would be the final film in the series.  What was with the hitchhiker and her banana?  Is there a better dancer than Crispin Glover on this or any other planet?  Why wasn’t Trish concerned by Rob’s strange line of questions?  Did Gordon commit suicide at the end of this movie?  How long did it take Tommy to transform himself into the weird young Jason monster he was at the end?  The movie actually holds up very well and is worth a rewatch if you haven’t seen it recently.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.    

In this spooky episode we’re going on a ride-along with everybody’s favorite undead cop, Matt Cordell, in Maniac Cop 2.  This movie picks up right where the story left off in the first flick and turns the crazy up to eleven.  Matt Cordell survived what was thought to be his second death in the first film and quickly continues his death spree on the streets of New York.  He kills all of the returning characters from the first movie and then teams up with a serial killer that looks alot like Charles Manson.  Eventually he is given a chance to redeem his good name and to be laid to rest...or is he?  This movie is a B movie classic and is worth the 90 minute runtime.   Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

This week’s episode is all about friendship and helping each other through the hard times in life as we talk about the remake of Martyrs. This movie tells the story of Lucy and Anna, two young women that have been friends since they met at an orphanage as children. Lucy had it pretty rough before she met Anna, but ever since they met Anna has been Lucy’s rock of support. When Lucy grows up, she decides to get revenge on the people that hurt her as a child and she drags Anna into the situation with her. Anna eventually learns that the stories Lucy has been telling have been true and she must find a way to free them from this horrific situation before it is too late. You have to give them credit for what they did with such a small budget, but the acting in this film could use a little work. It is crazy to think that this is a toned down version of the original film. What’s with all the time jumps? How long did the girls spend at the Patterson's’ house? Who was the girl that Anna was going to leave behind? How long was that drain pipe? This is a quick movie that takes the viewer for a bunch of gorey twists and turns, check it out. Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

This week we’re looking at the world through the eyes of a madman in the 2012 remake of Maniac.  This POV horror film follows Frank, a lunatic with a strange fascination with mannequins, as he stalks and kills his victims in the LA night.  Each new twist and turn in the film takes us deeper into the world of this psychotic killer as his mania pushes him further and further from reality.  How did Frank’s mom die?  How long has his killing spree lasted?  Wouldn’t he get some kind of poisoning from too much exposure to Raid?  How bad must his home smell?  The deaths in this movie are really gruesome and it is a good watch if you’re looking to be creeped out.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

This week we’re kicking off scary movie month with everyone’s favorite killer doll, Chucky, in 1990’s Child’s Play 2.  In this spooky sequel, Chucky is brought back to life and continues his attempt to put his soul into Andy’s body while killing several people along his journey.  Andy’s mom is in an insane asylum and Andy has moved in with the Simpsons, a foster family that has taken him and a teenage girl named Kyle into their home.  Andy keeps trying to warn everyone about Chucky’s actions and his eventual return, but no one believes him and they all dismiss his stories as make-believe.  Chucky does make his way to the Simpson’s house and wastes little time attempting to get his soul into Andy’s body.  He eventually starts killing everyone in his path and comes to a final showdown with Andy and Kyle.  How long was Chucky’s charred body being held by the toy company before they decided to clean and repair it?  Did the Simpsons just show up at the orphanage to do some window shopping?  What kind of orphanage was Susan’s mother running?  Wouldn’t Andy’s story become more believable as the body count continued to grow?  Why was the warehouse of the toy factory setup like a maze?  Have any other movies had special made-for-TV alternate endings?  This is one of the better horror franchises from the 1980s and if you haven’t seen this sequel yet, now is a s good a time as any to enjoy some wisecracking horror.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

This week, we’re trapped on a deserted planet filled will all types of violent monsters with only our loyal zebra-hyena dog to keep us company in Vin Diesel’s modern classic Riddick.  This third installment in the Riddick series finds Riddick all alone and left for dead on a remote planet.  He tries to find a way off the strange world by triggering a beacon and calling for any ship that he can use as a “taxi” to his freedom.  The message is received by two groups of bounty hunters that are seeking a dead Riddick to return for a large reward.  Once they arrive, Riddick begins hunting them down in an attempt to take one of their ships and escape from his planetary prison.  Eventually they must all work together to escape the monsters that are trying to kill and consume them all.  This is a fun ride and it is always great to see an R rated mainstream scifi film.  Can you list all of Riddick’s superpowers?  Would Vin Diesel really be homeless if this movie had flopped?  How many times is Dahl almost raped in this film?  Do the scorpions follow the rain or do they appear from the desert sands like evil flowers once water hits the ground?  Are you as excited for the fourth movie as we are?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

This week’s episode is all about justice and the civil rights of a sentient foul mouthed teddy bear as we talk about 2015’s Ted 2.  This time around, Ted and Tami-Lynn are married and looking to have a baby.  They have a few biological setbacks along the way, but their attempt to adopt a child reveals that Ted is not viewed as a person by the state and forces him to fight for his right to exist.  Ted has help along his journey to justice as his best friend John and his new lawyer Samantha are constantly by his side in the fight.  The movie is very silly and has a bunch of great one liners and hilarious scenes.  In what world does the governmental process move so quickly?  Why aren’t more people sympathetic to Ted’s cause?  What’s the deal with Ted’s guts?  Is there a brain in there that allowed him to be knocked unconscious by Donny?  Lungs that let him get high and a liver that lets him get drunk?  Will there be a Ted 3 someday?  This movie is worth the watch, check it out if you haven't already.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

This week’s episode takes us to Detroit in 2028 where crime is rampant and the future of law enforcement is a half-man half-machine hero named Robocop.  This 2014 remake of the Paul Verhoeven classic uses most of the original story, with a slightly updated twist, to tell the tale of Alex Murphy’s transformation into Robocop.  In this version of the story, a large multinational conglomerate called Omnicorp has created several lines of automated security drones to maintain peace and order in war zones throughout the world.  They have tried to get their robots onto the streets of America for several years but they are stonewalled by a congressional bill that bans the use of robots with deadly force from patrolling any city in the country.  They decide the key to getting into the American market is some type of human integration with the robots to help ease the worries of politicians.  Alex Murphy is chosen as the perfect candidate after he is maimed by a car bomb in front of his home.  Once he is reborn as a cyborg, Murphy decides to hunt down those responsible for his death but the trail may lead down a path that he was not expecting.  Why did they make this another story about Alex Murphy?  Couldn’t the story followed another officer’s transition into a robot peacekeeper?  Maybe an old west themed one called Robosheriff with Wyatt Earp?  Why wasn’t this an R rated film?  It could have used so much more violence and blood to help with the pacing issues.  Too many big name actors with too little to do.  If you really need a Robocop fix, you’re better off watching the 1987 version.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

This week Axel Foley takes us to Wonder World, the second most magical theme park in all of California, in the third installment of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise.  The story begins back in Detroit when a bust gone wrong ends up with Axel’s captain being killed in the line of duty.  The trail to find the killer leads to California and Axel wastes no time getting back to the land of sun and fun.  Once there, Axel learns who the killer is and teams back up with Billy Rosewood to take down a counterfeiting ring operating at the amusement park right under Uncle Dave’s nose.  With a little help from the lovely Janice and the always entertaining Serge, Axel is able to get the bad guys and save the day.  Why did they try to make this a toned down version of the previous two movies?  Why didn’t Axel know that Taggert retired?  How doesn’t everyone in the Beverly Hills Police Department know who Axel is?  Shouldn’t he be really famous after his actions in the previous two films?  What happened to all the glamour and glitz of Beverly Hills?  Where can I get an Annihilator 2000?  This is the third best of the Beverly Hills Cop movies but it is still worth a watch if you have a few hours to kill.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.