Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole

Growing up, actor Michael Sasaki (BIFL; Kidding; S.W.A.T.) was a competitive figure skater and the kind of guy who "always had a girlfriend." Michael discusses finding his truth by way of the Robinsons-May catalog, mistaking club culture for gay culture early on in his journey, and coming to terms with the fact that his Japanese heritage might be somewhat in conflict with his sexuality. Plus, puka shells and spiky hair - must be an early 2000's coming out! Follow Michael on Instagram at @mikeisready.

We're joined this week by Nicole's bestie and our first "dyke"-identified guest, Jo Lampert (Transparent; Orange Is The New Black)! Jo is a force of nature, and our conversation with her spans a mistaken claim of asexuality, the knee touch under the table that changed everything, and the years-long evolution that allowed Jo to finally be "visible and vulnerable in love and in sex." Also covered: humping! See Jo in Season 6 of OITNB and the series finale of Transparent, and check out #joequalitylampert!

Writer Louis Peitzman (BuzzFeed News; The New York Times) regales us with a series of hilarious stories from his coming out journey, which started with LiveJournal and culminated on Facebook. He talks about how telling his parents was the one piece of the puzzle he struggled with for years, until - in a surprise twist! - the straightest character in RENT gave him the courage to finally come out to them. Also, a cautionary tale about what *not* to give your mom for Mother's Day... Follow @LouisPeitzman!

Triple threat Tommy Hobson (The Fresh Beat Band; Lifetime's I'll Be Watching) takes us on his 15-year journey from believing he could "pray the gay away" to being out and proud in his personal and professional life. Stops along the way include the ritualistic burning of a confession letter, and several instances of mic drop-wisdom bestowed upon him by various family members. Tommy also talks toxic masculinity, fear of letting his parents down, and girls sneaking into his bed. Wait; what? @TommyHobson

It's almost Valentine's Day, so WE FINALLY BROUGHT ON ONE OF OUR EXES!!! Actor/theatre maker/educator Tori Gaines dated Nicole at two different times, and the first time just so happens to be part of her coming out story! Tori walks us through how she's navigated life as a "tri-bi" woman (bisexual, biracial, and bipolar), and we also talk about the vast importance of visibility. Plus, the Legend of Nicole's Tiny Jean Shorts! Follow Tori on IG at tori__gaines (that's a double underscore)!

Actor Greg Barnett (Pretty Little Liars; Raising Hope) was born and raised Mormon. Despite having realized he was gay in high school, he still planned to follow "the board game of Mormonism," which meant marrying a woman and having a family the 'traditional' way. Greg describes how he came to choose a different path, and how his relationship to his faith is still evolving. We also deep dive into religion, and along the way make some excellent metaphors involving tapas and 3D glasses! IG: @gregdbarnett

Ashley Holzer (a teacher's aide and mother of three) came into our lives via the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group, and *wow* is her story incredible. Ashley covers so many important things we had not explored on the pod until now, including parenting, getting sober, divorcing her best friend, grappling with mental health, and enduring loss; ALL while coming to grips with her sexual orientation. She is a champion, and we're so grateful to her for sharing her story! Ashley is on IG at @asholza.

South Asian actor/filmmaker Shaan Dasani (Razor Tongue; These/Thems) grew up in North Carolina, and spent his childhood believing that he would grow up to be a man – until puberty hit. In one of our favorite discussions yet, Shaan tells us about the steps he took to try to "be straight," his eventual realization that he was actually transgender, and his present-day experience navigating masculinity as a "very binary-looking" trans man. Also, THE MOST TENDER STORY ABOUT A TINY TUXEDO! Follow @ShaanDasan

We finally get to chat with everyone's Fairy Gaymother, Dana Piccoli! Dana is a fixture in queer media, and a writer, host, and frequent moderator at ClexaCon. She talks to us about the "gay wave" that swept her all-girls Catholic prep school, and the pivotal "aha!" moment she had at show choir camp (very on brand for a coming out story). Also: being a late bloomer, and the importance of straight allies. Dana is @DanaPiccoli everywhere, and her queer romance novel Savor the Moment comes out March 15th!

Actor/comedian Clayton Farris (American Horror Story; Scream Queens) has always been attracted to men and women, but for the longest time he resisted putting a label to his sexuality. In a hilarious and vulnerable conversation, Clayton details trying on both gay and straight personas, and describes how seeing a "sex therapist to the stars" helped him to finally feel liberated by embracing the "bisexual" label. Also, we talk awkwardness surrounding sex, because SOMEBODY has to, dammit! @claytonfarris

Puerto Rican actor Vico Ortiz (These/Thems; Jane the Virgin) identifies as a "Latinx, FemBoi, non-binary, genderfluid queerdo." But above all, they are CHARMING AF! Vico talks about how their desire to emulate their parents' marriage lead them to a very traditional relationship before they realized they were queer (a discovery owed in part to a bartender mentor and Google). Vico also discusses the challenges of using modern pronouns in a heavily gendered language, and more! Find Vico at @puertoricaninja.

We're taking this week off for the holidays, but in lieu of a full episode today, we've got some exciting news to share! Tune in to hear what we've got coming up in the new year... ;)

Valentina D'Alessandro grew up in a tiny town in Northern Italy where Catholicism was ever-present, and the fact that she wasn't blonde-haired/blue-eyed made her an outsider. Despite losing a close gay family member to the AIDS epidemic when she was a child, Valentina had to carve her own path toward coming out (spoiler: The L Word was involved). She also may have let her first love give her an amateur tattoo...but we'll let her tell it, because it sounds better in an accent. Follow @ohhvalentine on IG!

Writer/comedian Travon Free (The Daily Show; Full Frontal; Showtime's Black Monday) is basically a superhero. He's hilarious, kind, successful, and one of the only out bisexual men in the Hollywood spotlight. Travon tells us about what it was like being (to quote his Twitter bio) "Straightish Outta Compton," and discusses the societal stigmas he has faced as a bisexual man. Also, for some reason, we talk about guacamole...a lot. Follow Travon on both Twitter and Instagram at @Travon.

Comedian/writer Riley Silverman (Take My Wife) gives us TWO coming out stories for the price of one! First, she talks about how her desire to be more honest in her stand-up gave her the final push to come out as trans. Then, she shares the traumatic event that ultimately prompted her to begin using exclusively female pronouns and start taking hormones. Also discussed: D&D, Ladies '80s dance night, and the trope of The Awkward Lesbian (TM). Follow Riley! Twitter: @rileyjsilverman / IG: @rileysilverman