Lifegiver: Marriage Podcast for Military & First Responders

It is one thing to go through the constant change in my life, it’s another thing entirely to watch my kids struggle. I feel responsible for their well-being, but how do you know when your kids are really struggling with the constant transition of moving, making friends, and leaving friends? Kids and adults feel stress in similar ways, but sometimes their expression of it may look different. This is a season of transition for #TeamWeathers. We spent a year and half in Georgia and will only spend 6 months here in South Carolina. Knowing this, I saw my youngest begin to struggle. When school started, he picked up a cold that kept him home for a few days. When I noticed his cold was not getting worse and he was avoiding school I felt in my gut that something was off. Mixed with frustration and selfishness (to be transparent) I needed to figure out what my child was feeling but could not express. In this episode, I walk you through my own experience of working with my son. The heartbreak of hearing his stress and the battle of guilt I had to walk through myself. I will give you some tips on behaviors to look for in your children if they are trying to tell you they need help as well as what you can do to help them. Even more, I will address the internal struggle moms go through when we sometimes get it wrong. - Here is a little bit of what I cover:- Hidden Clues to look for when your child is struggling - Why we can’t read their minds- no matter how hard we try - How kids control their world when it feels out of control - How to not spiral into guilt and shame when you miss the clues you child is giving you Special thanks to Kelly Keesecker and her son Carter for the incredible “Shout Out” thanking an important friend who supported them during transitions. This one is definitely worth listening to and sharing with other moms you know. Let’s all be honest… Parenting is hard and you will never get it right every time. But we can all begin to be pick up some tips and be graceful with ourselves. Most of the time (if we allow it) imperfection leads to breathing hope into someone else’s life. Hopefully this will inspire you to do this in your child’s life.

Dr. Mike Sytsma is one of the most respected Christian Sex Therapists in the US. Based out of Atlanta, his office, Building Intimate Marriages, sees mostly couples who feel sexually "incompatible" or are post-affair. Most of his post-affair couples continue on to find new hope in their marriage. In this candid interview (FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY), I ask Dr. Sytsma all the questions I believe we are often most afraid to ask, especially as it relates to military specific issues that interfere with a healthy sex life. We discuss what couples can do during and after deployments, how to protect your marriage from affairs, and what you can do to start healing if your marriage is broken because of one. You can find all of the resources Dr. Mike mentioned in the link provided. Special thank you to In-Dependent.org for allowing me to host the Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2016 where I interviewed Dr. Mike and allowing me to post this extended version of that interview here.

Dr. Mike Sytsma is one of the most respected Christian Sex Therapists in the US. Based out of Atlanta, his office, Building Intimate Marriages, sees mostly couples who feel sexually "incompatible" or are post-affair. Most of his post-affair couples continue on to find new hope in their marriage. In this candid interview (FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY), I ask Dr. Sytsma all the questions I believe we are often most afraid to ask, especially as it relates to military specific issues that interfere with a healthy sex life. We discuss what couples can do during and after deployments, how to protect your marriage from affairs, and what you can do to start healing if your marriage is broken because of one. You can find all of the resources Dr. Mike mentioned in the link provided. Special thank you to In-Dependent.org for allowing me to host the Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2016 where I interviewed Dr. Mike and allowing me to post this extended version of that interview here.

Who would have ever thought that we needed help with making friends? In the military, we have to make them quickly. In the first responder world, they are necessary to get through daily chaos. In both worlds, they are crucial to survival but did you know that we need to be working on this area of our life? According to Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy, we can't just tell someone our life story and suddenly be BFF's. In this episode, Shasta will explain the process of friendship and the importance of understanding just how deep and intimate the relationship actually is. What if you are more serious about the friendship than they are? What if you are incompatible? Can we be friends with the opposite sex?

Who would have ever thought that we needed help with making friends? In the military, we have to make them quickly. In the first responder world, they are necessary to get through daily chaos. In both worlds, they are crucial to survival but did you know that we need to be working on this area of our life? According to Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy, we can't just tell someone our life story and suddenly be BFF's. In this episode, Shasta will explain the process of friendship and the importance of understanding just how deep and intimate the relationship actually is. What if you are more serious about the friendship than they are? What if you are incompatible? Can we be friends with the opposite sex?

Dr. Parrott is a New York Times Best Selling Author along with his wife Leslie Parrott, a marriage and family therapist. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University – a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. The Parrotts have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their television appearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah.As #1 New York Times best-selling authors, their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages, and include best-selling and Gold-medallion winner Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Other popular titles include Real Relationships, L.O.V.E., The Parent You Want To Be, Trading Places, The Complete Guide To Marriage Mentoring and Love Talk.Drs. Les and Leslie ParrottIn this interview, I talk with Dr. Parrott about his 4 myths of marriage and how they might apply specifically to military families.

Dr. Parrott is a New York Times Best Selling Author along with his wife Leslie Parrott, a marriage and family therapist. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University – a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. The Parrotts have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their television appearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah.As #1 New York Times best-selling authors, their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages, and include best-selling and Gold-medallion winner Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Other popular titles include Real Relationships, L.O.V.E., The Parent You Want To Be, Trading Places, The Complete Guide To Marriage Mentoring and Love Talk.Drs. Les and Leslie ParrottIn this interview, I talk with Dr. Parrott about his 4 myths of marriage and how they might apply specifically to military families.

In this incredibly moving interview, Taya Kyle opens up about her marriage to the love of her life Chris Kyle. Chris was tragically murdered during the filming of American Sniper, forcing Taya to find a way to move forward with the legacy he was building while mourning his loss.Today, Taya continues to carry out that legacy by investing in military and first responder marriages through the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation. CKFF offers Date Night Out's, Revitalization Retreats for couples, Spouse Retreats, and more. During the 2016 Military Spouse Wellness Summit, Taya shared her wisdom about marriage, perspective on military deployments, what she believed Chris needed from her, as well as how faith has played a role in her moving forward. - If you are married... this episode is for you.- If you have lost someone... this episode is for you- If you are going through a difficult season... this episode is for you- If you are wondering where God is...this episode is for you- If you are looking for hope... this episode is for youThis extended interview includes additional questions about her faith, her perspective on the Sacred Spaces of her life being made extremely public, and more.For more information on the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation:www.chriskylefrogfoundation.org

In this incredibly moving interview, Taya Kyle opens up about her marriage to the love of her life Chris Kyle. Chris was tragically murdered during the filming of American Sniper, forcing Taya to find a way to move forward with the legacy he was building while mourning his loss.Today, Taya continues to carry out that legacy by investing in military and first responder marriages through the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation. CKFF offers Date Night Out's, Revitalization Retreats for couples, Spouse Retreats, and more. During the 2016 Military Spouse Wellness Summit, Taya shared her wisdom about marriage, perspective on military deployments, what she believed Chris needed from her, as well as how faith has played a role in her moving forward. - If you are married... this episode is for you.- If you have lost someone... this episode is for you- If you are going through a difficult season... this episode is for you- If you are wondering where God is...this episode is for you- If you are looking for hope... this episode is for youThis extended interview includes additional questions about her faith, her perspective on the Sacred Spaces of her life being made extremely public, and more.For more information on the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation:www.chriskylefrogfoundation.org

Does it seem strange to you that it is healthy to have boundaries in marriage? This comes as a surprise to many. Why would I want to have boundaries? Shouldn't we share everything? Couples without boundaries run the risk of becoming enmeshed, chaotic, and not knowing who is responsible for what. I could not be more excited to share this interview with you. I have been a huge fan of Dr. John Townsend for a long time. Often times, the issues I see in the counseling office come down to boundaries- or a lack of. I have recommended his books to more people than I can count. I have seen so many, including me, go on to find freedom and increased connectedness in relationships from learning how to have healthy boundaries. If you were not able to attend the Military Spouse Wellness Summit put on by InDependent.org and sponsored by Armed Forces Insurance, never fear. I am pleased to offer you 5 of the most outstanding interviews from the Summit, uncut, and including additional questions just for the Lifegiver audience. As I take a brief sabbatical, I hope you will enjoy these interviews with fantastic guests like Taya Kyle, Dr. Leslie Parrott and more. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and join me with Dr. John Townsend. Books recommended from today's interview:Boundaries Series:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your LifeBoundaries in MarriageBoundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their LivesThe Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way

Does it seem strange to you that it is healthy to have boundaries in marriage? This comes as a surprise to many. Why would I want to have boundaries? Shouldn't we share everything? Couples without boundaries run the risk of becoming enmeshed, chaotic, and not knowing who is responsible for what. I could not be more excited to share this interview with you. I have been a huge fan of Dr. John Townsend for a long time. Often times, the issues I see in the counseling office come down to boundaries- or a lack of. I have recommended his books to more people than I can count. I have seen so many, including me, go on to find freedom and increased connectedness in relationships from learning how to have healthy boundaries. If you were not able to attend the Military Spouse Wellness Summit put on by InDependent.org and sponsored by Armed Forces Insurance, never fear. I am pleased to offer you 5 of the most outstanding interviews from the Summit, uncut, and including additional questions just for the Lifegiver audience. As I take a brief sabbatical, I hope you will enjoy these interviews with fantastic guests like Taya Kyle, Dr. Leslie Parrott and more. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and join me with Dr. John Townsend. Books recommended from today's interview:Boundaries Series:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your LifeBoundaries in MarriageBoundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their LivesThe Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way

The power of our words is absolutely necessary to us understanding our influence in the relationships around us. In my year of becoming more intentional in my marriage, I have been thinking more about what it means to pay attention to the words that I speak over my marriage and family. For some of you, the idea of a "Blessing" sounds like something from an old country church or maybe something that doesn't happen anymore. What I want to tell you in today's podcast is that our words have an incredible impact in what the people around us think of us, of themselves, and their identity. Today's episode is all about the month of November inviting us to be more grateful, especially as we are entering a season of family and often the tension it brings. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, or maybe go for a run and let's talk more about the power of the words we use and the words said to us.

The power of our words is absolutely necessary to us understanding our influence in the relationships around us. In my year of becoming more intentional in my marriage, I have been thinking more about what it means to pay attention to the words that I speak over my marriage and family. For some of you, the idea of a "Blessing" sounds like something from an old country church or maybe something that doesn't happen anymore. What I want to tell you in today's podcast is that our words have an incredible impact in what the people around us think of us, of themselves, and their identity. Today's episode is all about the month of November inviting us to be more grateful, especially as we are entering a season of family and often the tension it brings. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, or maybe go for a run and let's talk more about the power of the words we use and the words said to us.

If you have kids, you don't want to miss this episode. My kids have been begging to be a part of the Lifegiver Podcast, and I thought it would be a great idea to interview them on what it is honestly like to be a military kid. Aidan is 12, and in his second year of middle school. Jackson is 9, and in 4th grade. We sat down for an unscripted interview where I encouraged them to be honest about their life and experiences, both the good and the bad. They share some of their struggles and successes, so you will definitely want to let your kids listen. This is a great one to listen to while in the car and then talk about it at the dinner table later. Dinners together as a family have shown in research to be one of the biggest keys to a successful, connected family. While at dinner, ask your kids what their thoughts were about the podcast, what they identified with, agreed wth, or disagreed with. Special thank you to Kelly Keseecker's son Carter for his courageous Shout Out and Janine Boldrin from, Chameleon Kids Magazine, for hers as well. You can find out more about Chameleon Kids Magazine, the only magazine for military kids, by military kids, here.

We all likely remember our first move in the military. Filled with doubt, excitement, adventure, and fear- we learn to navigate the new community, acronyms, and the importance of that ID card. In this raw interview, Claire Wood shares her story that she recounts in her book: Mission Ready Marriage: My Life as An Active Duty Wife. Claire could not be more vulnerable as she shares the anxiety of leaving everything and everyone she knew to start a new adventure with her husband as an Army Wife. Deployment was tough, but reintegration was tougher. Many of us wish we had the guts to be as honest as Claire is as she shares her confusion with wanting to be reunited with her soldier, but struggling with the independence required by spouses during deployment.In Claire's fantastic book, she not only tells her personal story, but includes reflections on what she and her husband needed and how God has brought purpose out of her challenges and victories. You will not want to miss this one and you will definitely want to share it with someone who is going through their first deployment and reintegration.